I was startled awake. The sound of the captain speaking on the planes intercom, "We have reached our cruising altitude of 30,000 feet. Clear skies ahead. We will be passing over Bryce Canyon shortly."  I pushed the shade open and peered down, instinctively reaching for a camera; slowly realizing it was packed away in the overhead compartment. I watched Bryce stretched beneath me, smiling, that I had been given another opportunity to witness its grandeur with a creators viewpoint. No longer standing dwarfed by its majesty, its beauty striking even from these heights.

I had struggled to photograph that beauty. John Paul had asked us to write/describe a photograph or scene before taking any pictures in the canyon. As the descent began I could feel the spaces close in and the beauty slip away. Scenes that were not what I would photograph all around me on the trails. Far above me the wonder of the place beckoned and I wrote-

Who were you once, before I knew you?

And where have all the fragments  gone—

that once were you?

Were they swept away when heaven wept and

Almighty sighed and brushed aside what once was you?

Did you know its cost when your heart trembled and mourned their loss?

I am drawn to your beauty.

Why do the scars of your years

so move me to wonder and weeping?

For a moment I embrace you,

holding what is not mine and another shard is lost.

Did you feel the warmth of my heart;

or sense that I who have been so blessed

have no means of restoration

nor anything to give to you?

And from this struggle came my lesson for the workshop. Last year the lesson was simply- know who you are and what you like to photograph. Stay on the path! Not trying to be like, or imitate others work or ways- but to have a genuine understanding of what you are passionate about and photograph that. 

This year I discovered the other side of the same coin. It is okay NOT to photograph! It is okay to cancel the contract with yourself that you have to take photographs. As I only photograph a few times a year at workshops there is  a great deal of pressure I place on myself to always be photographing and to strive to get a great photograph. To NOT take pictures somewhere is almost unthinkable. To arrive at a location and not be able to find MY kind of photograph was frustrating. But part of being a photographer I learned was knowing when to put the camera away. John Paul had walked away completely from Bryce and with coffee and solitude planned an entire body of work on paper. I had found in words what I had so hoped to find in my viewfinder.

Days later in reviews the room was silent. John Paul turned, "This is the most important thing I will say all week- don't miss it. Notice when the energy is in the photographs being shown it gets quiet in the room. When there is little energy in the photographs we have to create it." It made sense instantly! I had never noticed- but how true.

I want to quiet the room. Take your breath from you and leave you still- and listening- where the only sound you hear are the notes from a song of praise. Those are the photographs I am looking for and thankfully found in Utah.